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But I have come that you might have life!" ~ Jesus No! "The thief comes to steal, to kill, and to destroy. Please, Biscuit - do not let the teaching of guilt and condemnation that your every action is being sifted with a fine-tooth comb, and every bad deed occurs because God is punishing you. Recall Sampson misusing the gift of strength the Lord gave him? Recall how King Saul prophecied? God's gift and calling are without favoritism one can receive yet still walk in their own ways. Remember, just because people are operating in the gifts of the Spirit it doesn't mean they have God's seal of approval for all things they say and do.
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Rather, ask yourself, "What wound or insecurity am I trying to cover with this pride?" and seek the Lord on that. You can't beat yourself up for struggling with pride. As one searches their heart they discover such attitudes are rooted in wounds, dysfunction in family upbringing, and the like. Pride and arrogance or deep-rooted issues in most peoples' lives that can't be easily weeded out. God cries out to you with a heart of love and beckoning, not a heart of demand. Jesus never required answering an "altar call" to evidence repentance or a heart seeking after God. "His anger is for a moment, but His favor lasts for a life time!" He is not like Zeus in the clouds holding a lightning bolt waiting for you to make a mistake to strike you down. I know what it is like to be in a heavy-handed body of believers, where every wrong thought or misdirection is dealt with a sledge hammer. Oh my goodness, Biscuit - someone is lying to you about the the love of God. I hope that God is just giving me a warning and is not about to take out His wrath and make an example of me. Not to make excuses for my own shortcomings and worldliness, but I came out of a Baptist background and feel that I am still learning about spiritual things.
When it does, I fear that God will not answer prayer or offer another opportunity at the altar. My son has health problems and I fear something bad is about to happen to me or my son. However, I now feel I was disobedient in not going forward (see verse 24,25 above). I have never spoken in tongues and to my knowledge, do not hear God's voice.
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I had been going forward almost every Sunday lately, and felt I should not go every time. I did not go to the altar or ask for prayer. Right afterwards, there was an altar call. There was a tongue and an interpretation. When I woke up, this was playing and stuck in my mind/heart:Ģ4 Because I have called, and ye refused I have stretched out my hand, and no man regarded Ģ5 But ye have set at nought all my counsel, and would none of my reproof:Ģ6 I also will laugh at your calamity I will mock when your fear cometh Ģ7 When your fear cometh as desolation, and your destruction cometh as a whirlwind when distress and anguish cometh upon you.Ģ8 Then shall they call upon me, but I will not answer they shall seek me early, but they shall not find me:Ģ9 For that they hated knowledge, and did not choose the fear of the Lord:ģ0 They would none of my counsel: they despised all my reproof.ģ1 Therefore shall they eat of the fruit of their own way, and be filled with their own devices.ģ2 For the turning away of the simple shall slay them, and the prosperity of fools shall destroy them.ģ3 But whoso hearkeneth unto me shall dwell safely, and shall be quiet from fear of evil.Īt the Sunday service, the Holy Spirit was moving greatly. Sunday morning, I had a dream where my wife said something like "Why are you so prideful?" or "Why are you so arrogant?" Shortly afterwards, I woke up. Both my son and I have gone to the altar almost weekly lately. We have been going to a Church of God, now almost every time the door opens. I think it was largely due to my arrogance and disobedience (refusal to pour out love as God instructed). My son and I recently lost a family member.
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